yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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