hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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