Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
