dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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