Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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