just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Drake has all the answers
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
