Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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