I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
40s are totally the cure
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
