Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
