I got her a Nickelback box set.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
