To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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