Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
