Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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