I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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