I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
