you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
