does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you would pick up someone in the library
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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