yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
