I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
