I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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