My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
