I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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