Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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