he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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