she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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