you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
