As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
