i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
