You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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