at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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