I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
