Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
