All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Barsexuality is the new black.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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