she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
