can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
