Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
