he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
