New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
