Duck Duck Cougar?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
