when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
