I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
