ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
