I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
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