whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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