her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
