dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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