At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
