Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
