Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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