I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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