This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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